body-soul connection

I am so ready to forget this ...

but I think it is important for many.

So here it is.
Actually it is unbelievable to me that we as souls about to incarnate on earth were willing to do that to ourselves only to be able to incarnate, to be here! ... Or we were so full of ourselves and believed that we would make it and that it was totally worth it?

Maybe when I leave earth and look back I will say it was worth it but right now: WHAT THE F*?

native creative - souls on earth

On to the facts:
High vibrating beings like angels or ex-humans without karma to name a few, who wanted to incarnate on earth had to come through a low vibrating human mother, because there were no high vibrating mothers on earth back then. If the high vibrating child would have brought in all its energy it would have simply kill the mother. So the child had to lower its frequency to match the frequancy of the chosen mother. In shamanic terms that means leaving lots of soul parts behind. But not only that, also power, strength ... and by withdrawing its presence the fetus couldn't fill its body and later its life with its own presence and energy anymore. As there can't be empty space, the low dark energies of the mother and the world filled the empty spaces. That created a bond, not a loving or supportive, but destructive and restrictive bond between mother and child.

For me it felt like the umbilical cord was feeding me with poison - my mother fed me with poison. It was painful, very painful and there is no way to stop it ... pregnancy is 9 month ... or a little less if I wanted to live ... and as stated before I really wanted to live. So my life started on the wrong foot, with lots of pain, anger, aggression and wanting to get out.

Unfortunately it isn't over after birth and out of the womb, as now there is lots of the mother's energy in the body of the child, a not loving connection and little to no connection between body and soul of the child.

Maybe humans can get to a state of consciousness were they don't need to know about this anymore and the connection between body and soul grows again slowly with more and more of the soul coming into the body again. I could not do it that way and neither solve this on  my own. I needed the support of  two others, a group of three, to be able to move this along.

I always had this niggling feeling that I was kind of sleep walking through my life, that I was not really living. In my dreams I was always the passenger in a car and someone else driving. Whenever I decided something good for me, I had to fight to get it. It felt like living with constant strong head wind while everything that did not serve me came easily and by itself. I was always kind of sick, nothing bad or big, but always kind of impaired, always taking this and that, but I could never hold a healthy state for long. No supplement, no therapy, not even love can balance a weak connection between body and soul.

So If you feel like your standing on quick sand and whatever you do, it just doesn't work - check your body-soul connection with a shaman or therapist you trust.

I am so ready to erase this from my memory drive now ... delete c:

....
....

things I wouldn't mind 2015

before the year starts ...

apart from the things I put on my "what I want 2015" list, there are many things I wouldn't mind:

• being totally fit and healthy
• having to ride my brandnew motorcycle around for no other reason than that I enjoy it
• swimming again with wild dolphins at Sataya or Maledives would do too

dolphins at Sataya

• roaming Dark River and Snow Dancer territorry 
• having to read a new Nalini Singh book every month for a year
• enjoying free coffee for a year at Sbux

best compination ever: Nalini Singh and coffee

• hopping up to Oslo for the Holmenkollen ski jumping and participating in the Norwegian crazy
• instant magicing a bachelor thesis
• full body experiencing another Pentatonix life concert .. or two or three

Pentatonix meet and greet

• finishing that darn granny square "sadness" project
• being forced to create more recycled candles because they sell so well
• being busy doing shamanic travels and soul retrievals 

pamela.abraxxs.com

• experimenting with a self harvesting plot or a small garden plot around here
• waking up one morning not in my human body but shape shifted in a feline predator's furry body ... I would totally freak and panic .. but it would so be worth it ;-)

welcome to my world

before I forget it ...

after I finished the review blog last night, I thought: If I was to create my own world, how would it look like? If I would have the opportunity to create earth right now, how would I do it?

There are really cool things about life on earth, things that make it worth while being here. For one living inside my own creation. Isn't that cool? As I paint the landscape of my life I also simultaneously live inside that landscape. I am the outside the painting "painter" and at the same time inside the painting "explorer". And that exploring and experiencing is not etheric but REAL! That painting is physically manifested and REAL! And changing constantly according to the feedback the explorer gives to the painter. Even the explorer inside the painting is REAL. I have a physically manifested body that lets me experience with all senses.

native creative - diversity

So, obviously I would keep that.

Buuuut .. yeah, you knew that one was coming :-)
But I would open up the limitations drastically. I create my own world as do you, but still our worlds are very similar. I would allow lots of very different worlds to coexist on earth at the same time. Just like we have different plays on every stage that exists on earth right now. They don't have to play the same play either.

What would I play on my stage?
Well, you might think you are in middle earth because I would not have this stereotype human in my world, but lots of different beings like elves, dwarves, angels, humans with wings, shape shifters, ... giants, dragons, fairies, mermaids, ...  blue hair, green skin, webbed feet, whatever, I would do without vampires though :-)

Imagus - elf with dragon

MAGIC yeah, come on and let's PLAY!!!

I would keep the life style: indoor toilet, warm water, heating and pre-hunted food. Also technology: mobile phones, wifi and water fueled cars and flyers, but I'd make it "natural" with less impact on nature. Kind of back to nature and foward into space. And I'd fuse technology with magic and superpowers.

I would allow mental superpowers like telekinesis and telepathy, emotional superpowers like empathy and also spiritual superpowers. I would allow every being to be powerful in whatever way they are. I just love diversity. It would be so much more interesting walking around seeing the surprises coming my way.

And yes, I would allow instant healing and MIRACLES to be a normal occurance. Next to the slow creation earth does I would also allow the way faster energetic manifestation through intent, focus and magic. 

For me, I would just be enjoying myself out there ... running the forests in wolf form, flying the skies in eagle or dragon form, swimming the oceans in dolphin form, walking the roads in human or elf form. I'd be meeting far travelled beings with interesting stories to tell from far far away.

My earth would be a hotspot for space travellers, a hothouse for inspiration and creativity and possibilities, an open and curious place ... with free coffee and cookies for everyone :-)

sam bluebell's coffees

review 2014 - what I want 2015

before I forget it ...

no, more like before I talk myself out of it :-) ...
because this year is different when looking back at the end of the year. Normally, ok, last few years when I looked back, I couldn't see anything, just same old, same old. Oh but this year, the changes are sooo very visible. Just thinking about the place I have been in a year ago and where I am now ... JUST YES!! MORE OF IT!!

So a year ago I was sick and ill, burned out and so very tired. I am not at 100% yet and still a little sick, but I feel good. My body is full of energy, I can move, I can ride the bike and push If I need to. I can go a whole day without taking a nap again! I still sleep a lot, way more than other people, but who cares? I am so very grateful for the changes in my body and health this last year.

Furthermore I am soooo unbelievably grateful for my decision to move back into my own apartment. I left the big city behind .. duh .. best decision ever! Mountains close and visible, woods and a lake around the corner and everything is slower, more relaxed here.

native creative - Untersberg

No more shared bathroom and kitchen either! I can close the door behind me and just be. Two rooms just for me!!! .. and a parking spot that waits for me every time :-)

Due to my health issues I did not work for the better part of this year. I am back working part time since fall and it is so much more loving than the job I worked before. Oh, and I am back at university finishing my aported studies.

I am grateful for all of the above, for the changes I created in my life.

What do I want to create in the coming year?
What do I want more of?

First, I want more time with my friends! They obviously did not move with me and I miss them a lot.

Second, I think it is really time for some kissing and snuggling and holding hands. Oh, and dancing!! Yes I definitely want more of that :-) This area of my life has been barren for quite some time now and I can see some changes and green growth now. I am excited about it .. YES PLEASE - MORE!

Those are the big two. Apart from that I want EASE with me and everything and everyone. To work with ease, to study with ease, to take exams with ease, to get even healthier with ease, and to earn more money than I need with ease.

Last the one, that drives me, the fuel to my motor ... FREEDOM .. I want to be free. I always wanted to be free. So I want to be free-er this coming year. I want to feel more freedom than ever before. I want to feel free-er than ever before. I want to be free to be more me than ever before.

native creative - xmas me

last life on earth

before I forget it ...

I was just inspired by Adamus/ Crimson Circle to pretend that this is my last life on earth. What would be different? What would I do differently?

LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST!!                  and                        Enjoy the hell out of it :-)

native creative - jump and fly

•  Honestly, I would be way more spontaneous and shake my boodie when I feel like it or sing aloud on the street - along to the music in my headphones or singing in my head.
• I would wear the purple hat every day I feel like wearing it.
• I wouldn't get kids, 20 years of brood care? not worth it. If I feel in need of kid's time and play, I would just borrow one and the parents would be happy too.
• I wouldn't care about building and establishing something or leaving something behind when I die, what for? I am gone and not coming back!
• I wouldn't care about serving earth or doing something important either.
• I wouldn't care much about repercussions, about tomorrow or the day after. 
• I would do everything that makes me feel alive like speeding down the highway, reading through the night, kissing a stranger. 
• I wouldn't hide in the basement or the shadows. 
• I would grab the lead role on my stage, take out my sword and turn on my light to the max. Everyone who doesn't like it, well, get the hell out - I don't have time to dilly-dally and comfort your fear.
• I would take more risks, take higher risks and just plain go for it. 
• I wouldn't protect my heart as much as I do now. 
• I just wouldn't take is personally, shake it off and move on. No? well, your loss.  
• I wouldn't be the easy and light version of myself, I am a fire dragon, they are meant to be big and powerful and a presense felt when in the room. If you can't deal with a dragon, get lost and get yourself a mouse.
• I would be authentic and unreasonable all the time, hop and skip down my life with 90 still and use the middle finger to collect all my trophies. 

native creative - upside down

• Oh, and I would laugh so very much because I would find everything so funny and hilarious.

I would go easily when the time comes because I would have lived my life fully ... instead of fearing death every day and letting it steal my life every day a little more.

easy

before I forget it ...

as I was out walking my forest round's to summer temperatures in November, I realized that some part of me still believes that there is a reward at the end of struggle/suffering/pushing. I really don't want to do this, but if I do it, I will be better of after. The more resistance we have, the more we dislike it, the bigger the pot of gold waiting at the end of it.
Honestly, we should all be rich, swimming in gold like Scrooge McDuck, for how often we manipulate ourselves into doing stuff we totally dislike!
Might be I am blind because I can't see us swimming in gold. I rather see people struggling, suffering, complaining and disliking what they are doing.

native creative - struggling and suffering

I believe we learn early on that this is the way it is done (here on earth).
Whatever we can do easily, doesn't count. Only what we have to work hard to achieve is a real achievement. A goal we can reach easily isn't even worth talking about. That is not a real achievement.
 
I know things were very easy for me when I was little. As I am trying again to finish my degree right now and struggling with it, I remembered how school was so totally easy for me. I just knew what I had to know. EASY.

native creative - easy smiley

The other thing I connect with easy is lazy. My mother accused me of being lazy because I did not give it enough effort. Now I understand that I went with the flow in ease while she pushed, efforted and struggled. From her perspective easy and lazy might look similar. Apart from that I can see her pot coming closer and it isn't a pot I want. So no reason to travel down the struggling road.

My point is, there can't be a loving reward at the end of struggle. In the worst case we struggle and suffer ourselves to death only to return for more and more ... and more. A road you don't like to walk, a road that doesn't make you feel good walking it, will not bring to you a loving destination.

For me it means returning to my natural state of ease ... If it is easy for me right now, it is good. If it isn't, what awaits me down that road isn't loving and therefore worth it anyway.

prediction for 2015

before I forget it ...

now that seemingly everyone makes some predictions about 2015 right now, I couldn't resist adding my own. I have to say I never predicted much ... apart from some dreams about babies being born that weren't concepted yet.

But I can feel it now ... see it very clearly too.

It's gonna be EPIC!

THE DRAGONS WILL FINALLY WAKE AND EMERGE AGAIN !!!!

fire dragon by unknown author

They have been asleep for so long, but their time has come. NOW .. or soon. 2015 or 20015, doesn't matter much to them, soon is soon.

Dragon power has never been totally wiped from Earth, survived mostly in China and Feng Shui but also in Geomancy. Dragon Power is about Strength, Life force, Integrity and Authenticity as I see it.

Ever dealt with people born in the year of the Dragon much? You'll know, they have an uncorruptable core of beingness. They rather hurt themselves before compromising on who they feel and know they are. They aren't the easiest people to be around :-) but it is refreshing and honest as they just are who they are.

As the Dragon is the biggest and most powerful creature around, there is no need for fear. Who's gonna hurt them anyway? That little creaking and clinking knight waving his toothpick around? For me Dragon power is not about distruction. It is about using my own fire, my life force to create my own world.

Dragons are just so very beautiful with their fire, light and sparkle.

Soooo ready to see if I am right ... until then ... keep breathing fire :-)