I've started a blog post some time ago ... about menstrual pain ... that I never finished and never published.
My thoughts from back then are still valid - the nature of the desease is nothing personal but something way bigger.
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| native creative - tree hole |
First time I saw that "being" it was hardly visible. I only saw a tatter of a black wing or black coat, with the sense of it being masculine. I even had a fall out with a long term therapist and friend over it, because I saw just black and "nothing". Which she thought was due to a lack of faith I had in her but in truth it was exactly the right thing, this being and nature of the desease. It has no place and is hardly visible like fallen soldiers.
I lately came to realize that this black man I see is the shadow of patriarchy and right now of humanity. Lea Hamann mentioned a sickness of humanity a few days after I had my realization, I guess calling it the sickness of humanity fits as well. It also reminds me of Nalini Singh's Dark Mind from her Psy/Changeling series. She describes it as appearing in female shape vers I always see a masculine form. But everything else fits: the malevolence, the rage, the blackness, being formed of unwanted and cut off emotions.
It also always reminds me of leprosy, as almost nothing is left of this being and I feel like I have a black hole in my belly. It's like one of those wrotten out holes in trees where a branch has been cut off and wrotten away into the core of the tree. I have a feeling there was a swing on that branch and play has been cut away.
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| native creative - tree with hole |
Leprosy may not be a threat anymore on earth right now, but humans are loosing parts on another level still. Accoring to the shamanic world view we loose parts and pieces through trauma and the patriarchic time on earth with all its wars and fights gave humans ample opportunity to loose pieces. That hasn't stopped, we still loose parts and pieces of ourselves.
As menstrual pain is a fact of life for many women and kind of "normal", as mothers and gynologists around the world make us want to believe, it makes no sense to me. Evolution creates the most astonishing beings and processes and things, but it creates a painful and therefore energy wasting process, that weakens the female part of the population? Not even going into the "religious" believe that it is the punishment for being female. Obviously not every woman has it either. I have had pain since my first menstruation and torturing pain the last ten years or so. IT IS NOT NORMAL! It is not natural. If half of the male human population had pain of that kind, they would have found a treatment by now. They would have never ever accepted it as part of life and grit their teeth every month for 30 years or so. Let alone let themselves be called whimps.
Women of this earth, don't take the fault for this.
IS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
It is not your fault. As I see it, the nature of this desease is not even feminine but masculine and a residue of our past, of the masculine leading this past episode on earth. Don't let anyone tell you it's your fault and don't sacrifize your feminine body parts!!
