life review - masculine sexual energy

before I forget it ...

a new chapter of my life starts on Monday so I took the rest of the week of to be with myself. It felt like the right time to once again look at my life and review what I want to take with me into this new chapter and what I want to put down before walking through this door into the new room that lays ahead.

• For one, I will undoubtedly take the gratitude practice with me. I will create lots more great news and great little and big changes with it in the new room.
• Furthermore, I will take the DIYing with me. It doesn't really matter what it is, as long as it is a handcrafted creative expression following an idea of mine. 
• Obviously I will take this blog with me. It is still on experimental feet, so we will see where it goes :-)

So, what will I leave behind? There is one major area right now that holds the most old energy and the biggest need for a thorough cleanse and release.

male energy .. to be more precise: masculine sexual energy

I just realized that I accepted masculine sexual energy in every day communication because it has always been there. I has always been like this:

• being stared at with sexual intent
• being undressed with looks by strangers 
• jokes with sexual content below the belt with strangers in puplic or non intimate situations
• exchange of ambiguous phrases and jokes in non intimate situations. 

The parts, that are transboundary and not loving are:

• the sexual energy coming from a stranger or "friend"
• the sexual energy coming in a puplic or non intimate situation

All of the above examples would mean something totally different if they were done by a lover in an intimate situation.

The thing is, I feel like a medieval castle constantly being stormed by a hostile army set on breaking and entering, conquering my empire, running over my kingdom and then pounding on their chests and showing their muscles and strength and screaming: "me tarzan, you jane!" Honestly, humans are not lions! Even in the animal kingdom the females decide and I am not some price to be stolen and owned. What kind of a relationship starts with a male having broken down  my door and forced himself into my castle? ... yeah, the kind I don't want and the kind I release from my life now.

It is time to take back the power over my life and relations and decide myself which kind of masculine sexual energy I invite into my life - and it sure won't be the loudest, noisiest, or "pushiest". 

so ready to forget that already