to hell and back

before I forget it ...

studying darkness, visiting hell is inevitable. I feel like hell, hell no. Hell is not a feeling, hell is a place, and not an anarchic place at that. Just like the tarot card devil in motherpeace tarot deck it is a hierarchical place with one male ruler. There is only one power in hell. THE DEVIL. Devil reigns hell.

Humans are afraid to go to hell after life is over, but hell isn't some far away place. Hell is here and you only need to decide: THIS IS HELL! and you are right there. You made it your reality right here and now. At least that is what I did.

I had dreams, visions, perceptions, etc. about darkness, malevolence, violence, ... and a male person, always a man. I have been thinking about the meaning of that for years, interpreting it in different ways, clearing whatever I could come up with that it means.
Just yesterday I made the connection with the help of the latest dream. In the dream the man wanted me to be his wife and when I started to weep and tell him, that I missed him he said: "shut up and listen!" So I clearly decided NO, if I can't leave, I'd rather die. I will not submit to his reign.

In the vision I walked into a dark cathedral where people were on their knees worshipping a man, a king sitting in the front. Next to him was an empty chair and I knew I was there to become his wife. I stopped in front of him, looked at him and said: "YOU ARE NOT MY KING". I turned around and left. Outside I saw a simple man sitting on the steps with golden hair and I knew, this was the real king. The one inside the building was only a servant. I sat next to the "beggar king" and said: "they just tried to sell me the wrong king."

That's how easy it is! I don't have to stay and die anymore. I can leave anytime and he can't stop me. "You are not my king" means I don't give my power away, I don't give him power over me.  I am my own king. I am the most powerful being in my life, in my universe. I create my life and my universe. I AM THE KING.

Devil will be the king of hell and hell will exist as long as humans need it to exist, as long as they give their power away. As long as one person believes darkness wins over light and love. If anyone wants to experience that, fine with me. But I don't have to stay there with them. I can move out and I did. I realised I much rather enjoy heaven. So I decided to create my life from the template of heaven and call it heaven from now on.

already on forgetting it ...