grrrrr

before I forget it ...

no self, this is not about forgetting. There is a wall I run into, tension that's building and doesn't have an outlet. I get the wave rolling and it smashes into that block and dies. After excitement comes devastation and sadness and no manifestation or creation. I never ever run into a wall with darkness or pain or illness. They flow freely indeed.

Well, I learned the hard way to protect everything that is impotant to me. If I don't want it crushed I have to keep it a secret. This is not exactly secret.
I could write about dark stuff forever without stalling. It doesn't matter to me and I forget it anyway. It's on the delete roll already. The things I want to keep, the emotions I want to feel, I can talk about this to some people, very few actually. I can't get it onto the screen. My fingers don't follow my commands and nothing happens. No words appear on screen.

grrrr ... forget this for now, but I am coming back!